User Profile

Name: Kevin

Alias: KC, MetalMan, Mullet, Gus

Age: older than my mom

Date of Birth: my whole life ago

Place of Birth: Cuntopia

Height: shorter than I was yesterday

Weight: less than I was yesterday

Skin Color: pale white with the occasional disfiguring scar

Eye Color: greenish kinda gray

Favorite Color: black

Favorite TV Show: Wondershozen, Beavis and Butthead

Favorite Movie: Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

Favorite Celebrity: Turd Ferguson

Favorite Food: people

Favorite Drink: blood and booze

Last Book Read: Bible of Satan

Last Book Written: instructional manual for GWAR’s nitro-burning funny bong

Hobbies: drinking, stinking, toking, smoking and fucking in a cop’s house

Last Raped Orifice: a tracheotomized neck

When I Get Mad: I cum in my pants

Philosophy: You’re not drunk enough until stretch marks turn you on

Turn Ons:
when drunk: stretch marks, acne, big noses, tracheotomies, bad breath, numbers under 18, ear infestions, armpit hair, puke, fart noises, glass bottles, socks, chaffed skin, menstrual blood, missing teeth, skid marks, eye patches, sandwiches, playing cards, envelopes, pencil sharpeners, dirty diapers...

sober: naked woman

Turn Offs: living people, sobriety

On Dates I Like To: check out other girls

Dream or Goal: offend the whole world

Greatest Accomplishment: offending everyone I know

Greatest Shame: finding out my ex’s true age from her mom

Quote: "If at first you don’t succeed you’re worthless. Kill yourself."-Kevin Monahan
A boy and his ax

Friends (4):

Friend of (9):